A man stands up, spreads his arms wide and sings: “We love you Brian, we do.” He is instantly joined in the chant by a cluster of zealots dressed, like he is, from bobble hat to weatherproof boots in the royal blue and white livery of Sarpsborg 08 football club. And now the whole stadium, not quite 4,000 people, are adding their voices, culminating in a thundering: “Ohhhh Brian, we love you!” There is something inescapably Python-esque about a large crowd acclaiming an unassuming guy called Brian as their messiah. But it is especially surreal to hear it in Norway, in a narcoleptic town called Sarpsborg, an hour south of Oslo towards the Swedish border. The Brian in question is Brian Deane, who, half his lifetime ago, made history by scoring the first goal in the Premier League, a header for Sheffield United against Manchester United at 3.05pm on 15 August 1992. Deane, now 46, flies lower under the radar these days, but for the past two seasons he’s been head coach of Sarpsborg 08 in Norway’s top division, the Tippeligaen. As shown by the affection of the Fossefallet – “the Waterfall”, as Sarpsborg 08’s hardcore fans are known –…