They say that the closer you get to realism, the more you notice the stuff that’s missing. So, by that token, FIFA 06: Road To FIFA World Cup must be one of the most realistic games ever made, because I have a notepad full of things I’ve classed as “missing”. Of course, what they really meant was that as you start to better emulate the smallest details – moving eyes, mouths, jawlines, flushing cheeks and so on – your brain does a much better job spotting the smaller blemishes, and weighs them more heavily against the overall image. In the case of FIFA 06 on Xbox 360, things like the way that everyone’s been glazed in slime, the way John Terry’s jaw appears to be trying to escape his face, and the way that David Beckham looks like some sort of comedy duck. Close in on someone’s face in Pro Evolution Soccer and you’re left in no doubt that it’s unrealistic, but the makings of resemblance are easier for your brain to reconcile with than what we have here, which is the reanimated occupants of a mausoleum caught in the bask of a full moon. After a gunge-shower. Shot, it…