Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews here.Your team: Orchids of Asia. Real change of pace for someone in this organization to have THEIR dick grabbed! Your 2018 record: 11-5. A Super Bowl victory that was about as entertaining as watching a feather-haired old man get a handjob. All five of the Patriots regular-season losses came to non-playoff teams in a year where the Saints, Rams, and Chiefs all seemed poised to topple them and establish potential dynasties of their own. But this is the NFL, and the NFL abhors excitement much in the way Robert Kraft apparently abhors getting laid for free.gift assortment of good luck and shitty calls, resulting in what proved to be only the second-best orgasm of Kraft’s day. Then they blew out the Rams in an unwatchable slog and notched yet another victory for terrible people all across the country: Tom Brady, the President, Mark Wahlberg, Pepe The Blog … all of them. That is the sorryass state of affairs we live in…