Howard will be here with the latest news from 2.30pm. In the meantime we’ve got all kinds of football news to entertain you/ attempt to boost our hits. Rafa Benítez wants Steven Gerrard to inspire Liverpool’s recovery, Fabio Capello is still confused about his No1 goalkeeper and Dara O Briain is chatting about Coronation Street. Just to prove that we’re not always harping on about the Big Four, we’ve tossed together a couple of articles on Burnley too. Paul Wilson has been chatting to their penalty-saving hero Brian Jensen, while Martin Wainwright reports on how the whole town is revelling in the club’s success. To keep up to date with all today’s games – and yeah, that includes Queen of the South v Ayr – you can visit our live scores page, while if you take a more competitive approach to results feel free to Pick the Score. And if you’re wondering about the teams ahead of tonight’s fixture between Manchester United and Arsenal, you need wonder no longer. Howdy clockwatchers. Welcome to absurdist hour on theguardian.com. This is where a bunch of readers (you) read a bloke (me) watching a bunch of blokes (Jeff Stelling, Thommo, Merson, et al.)…